Just What Is That Thing Called "LOVE"?

What is Love?
What is the Meaning of Love?
Do we all really understand Love?

by Cucan Pemo

Many people have different opinions regarding this. Frankly
speaking, "love" can't be defined; because if it can be defined, it won't be the genuine love that all of us are trying to
seek afterall.

This is what I think - what is happening when we fall in
love?

To understand that which is called "Love", you have to
understand that all human beings are born with basic needs
such as love, power, fun, freedom and survival. Whatever we
do all our lives, we are always attempting to live in a way
that will best satisfy one or more of these needs.

And this is all natural. This is what make us humans.

When we meet the love of our life; we fall in love; we hit
it off right away. Because there is something about him or
her which makes us FEEL GOOD! And feeling good about
ourselves is a basic need. Different people will have
different relationship experiences.

But one thing that is common to us all is that whenever we
are with our love interest, we find one or more of our needs
being satisfied. One person will FEEL GOOD about being with
that special someone. Another person may find himself or
herself useful in some ways, and he or she gets a feeling of
SELF WORTH. And yet, another person find himself or herself
being in POWER in the relationship; and if he or she craves
for power; the need to stay in the relationship arises.

This could be the truth of reality in our relationships with
other people.

Your partner is constantly thinking, whether consciously or
subconsciously, "What's in it for me to keep this
relationship or marriage with you?"

If what your partner is being asked to do satisfy one or
more of his basic needs, a great deal of things gets done.

If your partner cares for you and he or she feels good in
the process, he may even do what is distasteful to himself
because pleasing you strongly satisfies his basic need for
love and friendship. This means that as much as we dislike it,
we may run errands for our mate because we care for them,
but if we stop caring for our love interests, we may stop
running errands for them.

Much misery from relationships and marriages is caused by our failure to understand that we cannot get other people,
even if we love them and they love us, to do what we want
them to do if it is extremely unsatisfying to them.

Many of us struggle painfully to try to make a loved one we
love change his or her ways because we know that what we
want them to do is better for him or her than what they are
doing. Time may prove us right.

However, what many of us do is to engage in what is often a
losing battle, because we have forgotten that our loved ones
have their own needs to satisfy too!

When our partner stay out late at night, how would you feel?
Some of you may worry and suffer beyond belief. But the
more you act the boss and try to force him or her into
coming home at a reasonable hour, the less control they seem to have and the more miserable they are.

Although we can control our own behaviour, it is obvious
that much of what we choose to do is an attempt to control
others.

To save a relationship or marriage, you have to constantly
ask yourself if you are WILLING and ABLE to take from your
partner what he or she is able to give during this point in
time of their life.

This is why true love only exists when we can take care of
our own needs, and able to love ourselves as much as we love
our partners.

Imagine if you are nagging, complaining, comparing,
questioning, pestering the love of your life all day long
regarding your relationship, your circumstances and
conditions. You are depressed, unhappy, confused, and
lost. And there's a dark gloom over your head.

Let me tell you something, your partner is not able, or perhaps, will not do anything about it! Tell me, which parts
of the state you are in now will satisfy his or her basic
needs? What is it ABOUT YOU that will help him or her to
see you in a new light, and to want to be with you once again?

Think about it.

.........................................................................................................
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